this what that I hear
this bleating of sheep, this meh
why are they still near

Crutches are ok
but they're not forever things
except when they are

I don't clean my room
I can be more positive
Too much doom and gloom

*

It's like Groundhog Day
Because I've lived this before
and to you it's new

*

Nothing but the words
nothing but the words seem right
so neither do they

We are all fragments
of families, like Josef
and we all have dreams

** 1178 - 1181

A poem's line breaks
make the lines into cages
holding the meaning

---------------------------------------------------

Delmore Schwartz wrote that
it's the ego that's ALWAYS
in the driver's seat

Yes, my loneliness
I let you drive too often
Time I take the wheel

It's almost one year
and yet the grief for my dad
is still at the wheel

The things we don't know
about ourselves are sometimes
things all others see

In a rare move I want to write some background about this one.  I remember reading somewhere once in the name of CS Lewis that people spend years going to therapists to learn things that someone who met them for 5 minutes could tell them.  The question is if it would be heard.  Then the question is if it should be told. A process may be needed until the person can be made to hear or see something of themselves they prefer not to hear or see. Sometimes those things are clear to a few people, sometimes just to close friends, sometimes to anyone who meets the person for a few minutes, and yet the person doesn't know.  Sometimes the person knows and doesn't, suspects, but doesn't want to face it, pushes the truth away. Something happened recently - someone told me that something about me really bothers them and I must know about it and it must get in the way of my close relationships. It was uncomfortable for me to hear.  I didn't like the phrasing of the idea or the idea itself. Much more to say about this, but "I've said too much, but not enough..."

the endless pieces
we need to keep them in mind
to help humankind